Oom-pah-pah

We went to a fab sing-a-long at The Golden Eagle in Marylebone Lane tonight! Possibly one of the smallest pubs in the West End, nevertheless the Eagle plays host to a wonderfully eccentric old bloke playing requests at his (slightly out-of-tune) piano three times a week, and it is so much fun!

All together now...

Oom Pah-Pah from Oliver!

Oom-pah-pah
There's a little ditty they're singin' in the city
Especially when they've been on the gin or the beer
If you've got the patience your own imaginations will tell you just exactly what you want to hear
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, that's how it goes
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, everyone knows
And they all suppose what they want to suppose when they hear oom pah pah

Mr. Percy Snodgrass would often have the odd glass
But never when he thought anybody could see
Secretly he'd buy it, and drink it on the quiet
And dream he was an Earl with a girl on his knee
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, that's how it goes
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, everyone knows
What is the cuase of his red shiny nose?
Could it be oom pah pah?

Pretty little Sally goes walking down the alley
Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men
They could see her garters, but not for free and gratis
An inch or two and then she knows when to say when
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, that's how it goes
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, everyone knows
Whether its hidden or whether it shows
It's the same oom pah pah

She was from the country, but now she's up a gumtree
She let a fellow beat her, and lead her along
What's the use of cryin', she made her bed to lie in
She's glad to bring a coin in, and join in this song
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, that's how it goes
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, everyone knows
She is no longer the same blushing rose
Ever since oom pah pah

Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, that's how it goes
Oom pah pah, oom pah pah, everyone knows
And they all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear oom pah pah

Eric Storm - Have Some Madeira, M'Dear (Flanders & Swann)

Have some Madeira, M'Dear
She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice
She was fair, she was sweet seventeen
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice
He was base, he was bad, he was mean
He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat
To view his collection of stamps
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat
The wine, his cigar and the lamps

Have some Madeira, m'dear
You really have nothing to fear
I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right
You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night
Have some Madeira, m'dear
It's really much nicer than beer
I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout
And port is a wine I can well do without
It's simply a case of chacun a son gout
Have some Madeira, m'dear

Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass
And the fate of the maiden who topes
She lowered her standards by raising her glass
Her courage, her eyes and his hopes
She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did
He promptly refilled it again
And he said as he secretly carved one more notch
On the butt of his gold-headed cane

Have some Madeira, m'dear, I've got a small cask of it here
And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep
Do finish it up, it will help you to sleep
Have some Madeira, m'dear, it's really an excellent year
Now if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say yes
The evil gin does would be hard to assess
Besides it's inclined to affect me prowess
Have some Madeira, m'dear

Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said
With her antepenultimate breath
"Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red
Be prepared for a fate worse than death"
She let go her glass with a shrill little cry
Crash! tinkle! it fell to the floor
When he asked, "What in Heaven?" she made no reply
Up her mind, and a dash for the door

Have some Madeira, m'dear, rang out down the hall loud and clear
A tremulous cry that was filled with despair
As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air
Have some Madeira, m'dear, the words seemed to ring in her ear
Until the next morning, she woke up in bed
With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head
And a beard in her ear 'ole that tickled and said
Have some Madeira, m'dear