I normally bang on about change and how proud I am of everything in the world in my diary updates. This is usually the case but today has been slightly depressing so I'm not going to do that!
I get this horrible case of the end of summer blues in September. I think its a hang over from the days where this would be the time where I would return to school and the summer of hanging out was over. This isn't the case now clearly and to be fair, thanks to my phD I've been in school all summer technically!!!
I'm just exhausted. There. I said it. I saw a picture of myself from last week where I have giant bags under my eyes and my skin looks run down and I look as if I am ready to fall down. I am so tired. I realised this morning as I made my way down the hill to catch the bus to college that I have signed myself up for SIX years of this! Six years of not having days off and not being able to just chill in my bed without feeling hella guilty.
I have to wonder if its worth it.
I think this is the problem with education at the moment. It's difficult to determine if it is worth it because there are so few jobs out there. Mind you, I'm just bitching as its been a rough day. I literally did a four hour intense study session this afternoon and I'm struggling on one part. I have 10,000 words to get completed by the end of September for me to be on target. This is great as I have the hard part of 6-7,000 already done. I have corrections and rewriting to do and one last piece to add at the end about what my study is about. This is all fine and well except, its bloody exhausting. By the time I dragged my sorry ass home today I was about ready to fall down. I made it in the door and then jumped into bed and fell asleep watching South Park - it was all my mind could handle.
I guess I just have to get over this given that I am the person who signed up for this and no one forced me. I can't help feeling sorry for myself though!
In brighter news, I finished all my freelance stuff this week and I'm happy to report the music video went well. I'm due to FINALLY have an xray on my hip to determine how badly I've damaged it after the accident two years ago. Yes the one in which I got hit by a car and broke my leg. I am struggling to walk without pain now and I can't make it up the stairs without being sore. Mergh. Ah well....who knows what this is going to reveal. I'll let you know!
XOXOXOX
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